Self love is everything! Literally. Like, it’s the best thing ever, and it’s just… The best thing ever. If you’re not loving yourself, then what you doing??? It’s okay, cuz I’m here to help you out and give you some tips on how to love yourself more.
So, yeah, Imma give you the tea!
Believing in Yourself
You have to believe in yourself. You have to believe that you can achieve whatever your goals are. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else? And even if other people do believe in you, why don’t you believe in you? No matter what your goals are, no matter how far fetched they seem, you should believe that you can do it. Whether it’s something you can do right now or something where it’s like right plan, wrong time.
If you don’t believe in yourself, why not? Seriously, you need to know why you don’t believe in yourself. Do you think it’s too hard? Do you think you’re not good enough, or you’re too insecure? Babe, we’re all insecure. We all think we’re not good enough, and we all think it’s hard. Life is hard, but if we quit because life is too hard, we’ll never get anywhere. We’ll never make progress, never make anything out of ourselves.
Being Patient w/ Yourself
Calm down, and slow down. Not everything that you want to achieve is going to happen super fast for you. Not everything is going to happen the way you want it to happen. You could be making progress slowly, and that’s still good. Be patient with everything you’re doing, because you want to make sure you’re doing it efficiently.
I know making no progress or making slow progress can be so difficult, annoying, and frustrating. Sometimes, you just have to put yourself out there. Reach out to others that are doing things like you, make trends, and don’t copy what others are doing. It’s okay to get inspiration, but put a twist on it to make it yours. Even after doing all of that, the progress might still be slow. So, again, PATIENCE!!!!
Knowing Your Worth
To love yourself more than you already do, you need to know your worth. Know yourself to the point where nobody can just stumble all over you and make you feel less than. Trust me, there will always be people that will make you feel less than. You’re more than everyone and everything. That has to be the mindset you approach life with.
You can be assertive with it. Show people that you know your worth and you won’t be treated any type of way. Knowing your worth will also make you more confident and sure of yourself, which is exactlyyy what we want!
If you don’t respect yourself, why would anybody respect you? Treat yourself with respect and dignity, and others will follow suit (unless you’re disrespectful to them… lol don’t do that.) Respecting yourself means there are certain things you will and won’t do as to maintain a certain representation of yourself (a POSITIVE reputation!!!) Respecting yourself means you’re keeping yourself together and private, so not everybody knows exactly what’s going on in your life. Also, respecting yourself is taking care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, then you don’t respect yourself. Because if you respected yourself, you’d make sure everything is alright within your mind and your body. So, when you’re not taking care of yourself which is not respecting yourself, others see that and they’ll act accordingly which may be not respecting you since you don’t respect yourself.
It’s great to respect others, because typically people will respect you if they feel as though you respect them. However, you need to respect yourself first before you try to respect anyone else. Respecting yourself means you refuse to do anything you don’t want to do. You refuse to let someone pressure you into something. You stand on your morals and your values and you stand up for yourself! Um, hellooo, we’re not pushovers.
Accept yourself however you come. Accept your flaws, your insecurities, your strengths, your weaknesses. Accept your accomplishments and your failures. Accept everything about you, because it’s you! You’re everythinggg, and you definitely need to accept that. Even if there are some things about you that you want to change (positive, healthy changes only), you need to be able to accept yourself the way you are first. Don’t think “Oh, I want a body like hers, let me do everything I can to get that.”
No, because what’s healthy for her body might not be healthy for your body. Don’t think you have to look a certain way to be able to accept yourself. As long as you’re healthy, you’re good! If you’re not healthy, accept that as a flaw or weakness and improve yourself to make it a strength. Sometimes if you’re trying to do something and it doesn’t work? Accept it as a failure and try a different approach. Nothing is wrong with you and you don’t need to change. Please remember that. You don’t need to change, you want to change. Accepting yourself is also not being afraid to be yourself. If you accept yourself, then you won’t be afraid of being you, because guess what? You accept you, you love you. As you should.
It’s okay to make mistakes, but you have to know how to forgive yourself for them. You might’ve messed up really bad, that’s fine. Forgive yourself for whatever happened, and bounce back. Trust me, you’ll bounce back. It’s gonna take time (however long depends on what happened).
Forgiving yourself will probably be one of the best things you can do, because a lot of us have pent up anger within ourselves for things we did or didn’t do. Don’t regret anything, because living life with regret isn’t living. Take the time, write out everything you’ve done and haven’t forgiven yourself for. Work towards forgiving it, and cross it off the list once you’ve gotten to where you want to be. Please realize that some things you’re mad at yourself for and haven’t forgiven yourself for, isn’t your fault. You’ll start to notice that as you work towards completely forgiving yourself for everything.
Giving Yourself Credit
Give yourself credit for everything you do. That’s a good practice, because if you don’t give yourself credit, then others won’t really give you credit either. Don’t be like “Yeah… I did good… I guess… I don’t really know.” No, babe. I wanna hear “Yeah, I did that! And I’ll do it again!”
I don’t care if it’s the smallesttt thing, give yourself credit for it. Just practice giving yourself credit. And it doesn’t have to be spoken, you could say it in your head or take a lil mental note of it. Anything, it doesn’t matter what it is. Give yourself credit. Whether it’s learning to drive, passing a hard class, excelling at something you never thought you’d excel at, or even just washing the dishes and sweeping the floor. You did it, didn’t you? Period, and you did an amazing job, too!
Working on Bad Habits
When you’re accepting and forgiving yourself, you’ll be realizing some of your bad habits. Write them down, type them out, whatever you gotta do so you’ll be reminded of them. Then, try to get rid of them. They’re bad, why keep them? A bad habit is something that hinders you from greatness or is kinda weird or gross or something. For example, sleeping all day and not getting any work done? That’s a bad habit, because it’s hindering you from excelling in school/jobs. Biting your nails off to the point where it’s just the meat of your finger? That’s a bad habit, because it’s gross and sends the wrong signals about how you take care of yourself.
Bad habits are nottt “Oh, I just don’t like this, so it’s a bad habit.” Lol no. Don’t be slow. Let’s do things that make sense. If you don’t know any of your bad habits, it’s okay to ask someone. Ask someone you trust and who knows you well, i.e, a friend or close family member. They’ll typically have your best interests in mind when you ask, so it’ll be extremely beneficial.
Giving Yourself Pep Talks
This is a big one. I do this literally alll the time! Even sometimes when I’m not giving myself a pep talk, I talk to myself about things going on in my life. It helps me put things into perspective and helps me deal with situations better. If you try giving yourself pep talks, and you feel it doesn’t work, I’ll give you one.
If you’re feeling down, cheer yourself up! Use daily affirmations (hint hint to the weekly and soon to be mid-weekly affirmations I’ve recently started putting on my posts.) Remind yourself that even though things aren’t the best right now, it won’t be like that forever. I heard this thing from a book my little sister was listening to. It was like, “You have to have bad days to appreciate the good ones.” I think that’s sooo true! Because whenever we have a bad day, we’ll start to feel discouraged about things. But if you have a bad day then a good day soon after, you’ll feel better about yourself and feel like you’ve made a comeback.
Finding Outlets to Manage Your Stress
There are sooo many things out there to help with stress. You can try talking to people, aka me. You can try some of those stress reliever apps, I hope you know what I’m talking about cuz I can’t remember what any of them are called. You can take breaks from some things for a short period of time.
You could slow down, take a breather, and then pick back up where you left off after just relaxing for a little bit. There a some natural remedies you can use to help with stress (I recommend going on Pinterest, looking up natural remedies to help with stress, and looking at comments before actually trying anything.)
BHM Icon of the Week: “Benjamin O. Davis Sr. was the first Black general in the American military. He served for 50 years as a temporary first lieutenant at an all-Black unit during the Spanish American War. Throughout his service, Davis Sr. served as a professor of military science at Tuskegee and Wilberforce University, a commander of the 369th Regiment, New York National Guard, and special assistant to the Secretary of the Army. When he retired in 1948, President Harry Truman oversaw the public ceremony.”
BHM Black Story of the Week: Emmett Till was 14 years old when he died on August 28, 1955. Emmett was originally from Chicago and he was in Mississippi visiting family. August 24th, He bragged to his friends about how he had a white girlfriend back at home, so his friends dared him to ask the white lady behind the counter on a date. He went in the store, and when he came back out, he was heard saying “bye, baby”. Carolyn Bryant claimed he grabbed her, made advances on her, and wolf whistled to her on his way out. (None of which is true.) Carolyn’s husband, Roy, heard about what Emmett allegedly did when he came back from a business trip. Roy and his brother, went to Emmett’s uncle’s house, and took the boy in their car. They made him carry a 75-pound cotton gin fan to Tallahatchie River, then they made him take his clothes off. They beat him, gouged his eye out, shot him in the head, tied his body to the fan, and threw him in the river. His body was found 3 days later, and his uncle could only identify him by a ring since his body was disfigured. His mom held an open casket funeral for him, so everyone could see what they did to him. The murderers of Emmett Till were said to be “not guilty” by the all white jury in less than an hour. In 2007, Timothy Tyson author of The Blood of Emmett Till, interviewed Carolyn Bryant where she confessed that Emmett didn’t do anything to harrass her at all. The book was published in 2017. Emmett’s story makes me sooo mad, because this priviledged woman had the AUDACITY to lie on him then try to feel bad about it later?? She knew what would happen to him if she told people he had wolf whistled at her and grabbed her. She knew, and 62 years later she wants to come out and say something about it? Too little, too late, because you never should’ve lied on him in the first place. No amount of apologizing, confessing, or anything else from Carolyn can replace the amount of damage and grief she caused on Emmett’s family. Let me know what you guys think about this, but I’ll tell you right now… I don’t forgive her and I never will.
Best Thing to Happen to me This Week: To all the Boys Part 3 came out yesterday, and even though I haven’t watched it yet, it’s the best thing because I’ve been looking forward to it.
Weekly Affirmation: All of my problems have solutions.
That’s all I have for this post! I’ll be doing a Meeting New People post next, and plentyyy more!
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Post and follower count: 25 posts, 52 followers! I want to take a moment to thank you all for how far we’ve gotten!