The title of this post is self explanatory. This is about boys and how to deal with them. Boys can be sooo confusing sometimes… Well, really, all the time. For some reason, a lot of boys have extreme trouble expressing their feelings, so they tend to send mixed signals. I hate mixed signals, cuz it’s like “do you like me or do you not? pick one.” Not all boys are bad at emotions, but a lot of them are.
This post isn’t just about how to deal with boys when you’re dating them, but can also be applied when you’re just friends with them. (Don’t worry, I’ll do a post about how to deal with girls, so y’all don’t feel left out.) So, yeah, Imma give you the tea.
Some Boys Just Want One Thing
Imma put this one first, because we all saw this coming. It hurts our lil feelings when boys act like they only want to… Yk. Like, when you can’t tell if they actually like you or if they’re just bored. Or they talk about that one thing alll the time and it gets on your nerves. Cuz yk, you’re looking for an actual relationship and they’re just looking for somebody to sleep with. Disgusting.
This goes for boys you’re “just friends with”, too. You can genuinely be friends with a male without having feelings for him, just like he can genuinely be friends with you without having feelings for you. But we all know, when we have a boy best friend, typically feelings arise. Even if y’all don’t actually date or do anything about the feelings, we all know it’s there. Sometimes, boys will try to befriend for the sole purpose of they think you’ll do stuff with them if you’re comfortable with them and trust them. So, if that’s not what you’re really tryna do, be careful and be safe.
Don’t Treat Your New Dude Wrong Cuz of Your Ex
I used to have a very bad habit of doing this. The first time I got cheated on totally blew my mind. I was so shocked! I was like “HE DID WHAT?” Babe, I was bout ready to kill him and his side. Long story short, she didn’t know about me. She cheated on him, and I became friends with her (and every other girl he dated that year) just to make him mad. I also dated his best friend for a lil bit out of spite, and because I knew he was going to be soooo mad that it’d be funny.
After I started getting over him, I was dating other dudes but cheating on them. I felt like I couldn’t trust anybody and I kinda just wanted to get revenge on all boys for what my ex did. I’m starting to outgrow the whole talking to a lotta dudes at one time thing. The more I think about it, the lamer it seems. Cheating itself is just lame and wack. Cheating and talking to a lotta people and being a lil pimp is “cute” in middle school. (Notice I put quotation marks cuz it’s not actually cute.) To me, around 9th and 10th grade, that stuff just becomes lame and it’s only cute to the person who’s doing it. So… PSA: Leave it in 8th grade. Just drop it, go to high school, and don’t look back.
No, but seriously. Don’t do somebody wrong when they haven’t done anything to you yet. You can end up pushing away or cheating on someone who’s your soulmate or something. Give people a chance, but keep your guard up. That way if something happens, you won’t be surprised, but you’ll be a lil disappointed. You’ll expect it coming, so it won’t hurt you as much (lol its still gonna generally hurt tho.)
Don’t Fall in Love Too Easy
Babe, these boys aren’t in love with you. At least, not right away. People confuse “I love you” a lot. They associate “I love you” with “I’m in love with you.” THAT’S NOT THE SAME THING!!!! You say I love you to your family, your friends, your pets… You get the gist. “I love you” is not a romantic thing. Idc what anybody says. I don’t see “I love you” as romantic, just like I really don’t see “I like you” as romantic. You say that in your platonic relationships, so no, it’s not romantic. It’s nice to hear, but it’s just not the same.
Scientifically, boys “fall in love” within 88 days of being in a relationship (just under two months). While girls “fall in love” within 132 days (about four months.) Why did I put quotation marks? Because scientists are basing that number around when we first say “I love you”. But again, that’s not as romantic as it seems. People say I love you and will do you so dirty. Yet, we still loveee when a person says it??? No. Don’t be stupid. It’s great if your boyfriend tells you he loves you. It’s great if you say it back, but does that mean y’all are in love? No. It just means you care strongly for each other. It doesn’t mean either one of you want to be together forever or can even imagine being together forever. Again, like I said, don’t be stupid.
Sometimes, You and Boys Will Just Click
You know how sometimes when you meet certain girls, it’s like you knoww y’all are gonna be close and be best friends? The same thing can happen with boys. Y’all can just… Click yk? Like there’s a type of automaticness in the friendship. And other times, you’ll have to get used to each other.
It’s okay to click with people. The ones that you click with end up being the best friendships you’ll ever have.
Be Upfront with Your Intentions
I don’t mean like “Hey, I like you, you’re cute, I wanna get married and have kids in the future… In fact, let’s get married now.” LOL PLS DON’T DO THAT! When I say be upfront, I mean, let them know what you’re looking for. A real, serious relationship or just a friend. Sometimes, boys will get confused just like we do.
The more straightforward you are about it, the more respect they’ll have for you. Even if y’all don’t last long or don’t stay friends for long, they’ll always have respect for you and won’t be likely to talk bad about you. We don’t want any hurt feelings or bad blood with anybody.
Don’t Bring Up His Exes
Don’t feel like you have to know about his exes to know him better. As you stay together, conversations about exes will come up, I promise. That is the time where he’ll tell you about his exes and you’ll tell him about your exes. If you make it to that stage of the relationship, he really trusts you (and you should really trust him.) It’s hard opening up about previous relationships, because usually you don’t wanna think about whatever went down between you and that other person. So, to open up and tell someone about it? That’s serious, at least to me it is.
If you’re always bringing up his exes, he’s more likely to leave you or stop being friends with you. He’s gonna be thinking, “They more interested in my exes than me.” You don’t want that. Just leave stuff alone and mind your business until the trust of the relationship builds. You don’t wanna break the trust before the foundation is even built.
You know it’s not officially one of my posts without some corny, stereotypical advice like this. Be yourself, babe. You don’t want them to start liking some fake version of you then the real you comes out and they’re like “woahh, this ain’t what I signed up for… Imma head out.” and then leave.
Trust me, somebody likes you for you.
Be Careful About His Homeboys and Other People
Some of his homeboys might not really be his friend. They might hit you up, just being honest. The best thing to do is not respond and show your boyfriend. Otherwise, something is gonna get twisted up and it’s gon be a mess.
Watch out for girls/boys. People be so grimey and disgusting. Especially if they have a personal vendetta against you, they’ll be all up on your boyfriend for no reason. If you have a problem with someone your boyfriend hangs around, let him know. Not inna rude or disrespectful way, just tell him what the problem is and he should act accordingly.
Don’t Lie to Him
Do you want him to lie to you? No? Okay then. No, but really, be straight up. What’s the point of getting into a relationship/friendship just to lie?? Lol, you’re wasting his time and yours. If it’s something you gotta lie about… No it isn’t. Y’all should be able to tell each other everything and if you can’t? Re evaluate the relationship and think about is this really who you want to be with.
Never Let a Boy Come Between You and Your Bsf
If you let a boy come between you and your bsf, you’re lame and I stand on that. Unless, your boyfriend cheated on you with your bsf, then they’re lame and you should, respectfully, remove them from your life.
Don’t push your best friend away just because you’re tryna be so focused on your boyfriend. Don’t push your best friend away over a guy friend that’s tryna split y’all up. It’s great to want to progress and move forward with him, but remember who came before him. Remember who’s been there for you before he showed up. Don’t be that girl who has no friends cuz she always ends up doing them dirty for a boy, babe, please don’t.
Listen to His Problems & Be There for Him
Boys don’t always vent, so if your boyfriend wants to let you know what’s going on… Make time for him. I promise, that means he has so much respect for you and he trusts you. Boys don’t open up to everybody. Make sure he knows that you’re there for him and not gonna leave when things get hard. That’ll make him trust you less and possibly break up with you. And if you listen to his problems, he should be there for you and listen to yours. Relationships ain’t one sided.
Be there for your guy friends, too! If you’re listening to your girl friend’s problems, why not help your guy friend out too? Boys love when someone will actually listen to them.
Don’t Let Boys Treat You Any Type of Way
Babe, don’t let nobody walk all over you. Especially not a boy. Boys will always be like “I’m truly sorry for what happened. I’ve changed.” If a boy really changes, he won’t do it again. And, yes, boys can change. You just have to know when the change is real or fake.
Your guy friends will treat you any type of way, too! We all know that anyone can be grimey, fake, and just not actually your friend. Boys will do you just as dirty as a girl. Be safe, babe.
Sometimes it is What it Looks Like
I know we never wanna believe we’re getting played, but it happens. We try to give people the benefit of the doubt… Don’t. Always expect people to do you dirty even if they’ve never shown signs of doing you dirty. We’ll be like “Well, I think he may be cheating but I have no proof.”
Sis, with or without proof, it might be exactly what you’re thinking. At that point, you need to know how to let him go.
Don’t be the Crazy SO
Y’all do realize that being crazy is only cute to the crazy one, right? It’s funny to people on social media, but it’s not cute. We’re laughing at you, not with you. It’s okay to want to do crazy things. Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to beat a girl with a bat and run her over just for talking to my boyfriend, or looking at him? I haven’t done it yet, though. Key word: yet, cuz y’all lil girls out there really be trying me.
It’s funny to talk about how crazy you are. “If you cheat on me, Imma beat you and the person you cheat with.” Hilarious, but when it actually comes down to it… If he does actually cheat, don’t beat nobody. If you beat them, you’re making yourself look stupid. Just leave.
Self explanatory. Don’t be stupid and put a boy first. It’s okay to not talk to him for a while so you can get your homework done. You tryna make something out of yourself, ain’t you? Okay then, cuz when you fail a class or get held back and have to go to summer school… Is he finna be with you? Not unless y’all go to the same school and he failed, too. You gon be at school and he gon be out there with other people, focus on yourself.
Just put yourself first in general, cuz when something is wrong with your health (physical or mental) who gon be there with you? Not him. You gon be in the hospital and he gon be out there with other people telling them he single, focus on yourself.
Don’t Force Yourself to do Anything
THIS IS A VERY VERY IMPORTANT ONE! You need to be able to say no. If you’re scared to say no, what are you scared of? He might leave? Well, if he leaves just cuz you don’t wanna do something he wants to do, he’s super controlling and you don’t want him anyway. If you and your boyfriend aren’t comfortable enough to be able to say no to each other without an argument or hurt feelings coming up, lol don’t be together. You’re wasting time cuz this is gonna go terribly.
This goes for guy friends, too, because sometimes they’ll ask you to do stuff you don’t want to do. Whether it’s sexual or not. LEARN HOW TO SAY NO!!! It’ll help you so much in life.
You Don’t Need a Boy to be Happy
If you think you need a boy to be happy, chile… I feel for you. I’ve been there. When you’re bored and you just want someone to talk to. If you want someone to talk to, talk to me. Don’t go get a lil boyfriend just cuz you’re bored or you’re sad and want a guy to cheer you up. We’re very much independent over here and there’s so much you can do to be happy and independent (I’ll do a post abt it.)
Stay Away from Fighting and Drama
People (not just boys) like other people that stay out the mix. Boys don’t like girls/boys that are always in other people’s face, Imma just be real. It’s not a cute look on anybodyyy to always be in something. If it ain’t about you or your friend, leave it alone. Don’t put yourself in other people’s mess and don’t let nobody drag you into something that ain’t got nothing to do with you.
Make Sure Your Appearance is on Point
Why wouldn’t you want to look your best? Not even for a boy. Seriously, don’t look good for a boy, look good for yourself. Being put together is just a little something extra that will have boys looking at you and wondering what you be doing. But don’t do it for them.
Also, as you and your guy friend or boyfriend get more and more comfortable, you’ll be okay with looking a lil not your best around them. And they won’t care. Boys actually like it when we let our guard down and let them see our hair a lil messy or let them see us just chilling and not looking like we just stepped out of a Seventeen magazine. Don’t be afraid to show people what you look like when you didn’t spend hours in the bathroom.
Best Thing to Happen to me This Week: I made a new YouTube channel and got 14 subscribers within the first 2 or 3 days of posting my first video.
Weekly Affirmation: I am enough.
That’s all I have for this post! I’ll be doing a Girls post next, and plentyyy more!
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