Gen Z is obsessed with glowing up. Don’t deny it, because it’s true. We’re always trying to better ourselves. Become better looking, get better bodies, be in our bag. However, if you don’t have your mind together, what is all that other stuff going to do for you? Babe, idc how much money, clothes, shoes you have… If your mental is messed up, none of that matters.
I made a post somewhat similar to this, Confidence Do’s&Don’ts. It’s not the exact same. That one focused solely on being confident within yourself, and this one focuses on getting your mind together in general. So, yeah, Imma give you the tea.
Don’t be Afraid to Try New Things
I know this might not seem relevant, but not trying new things limits your access. By limiting your access, you’ll never know what you’re capable of. There’s something about knowing that you can do a certain thing that makes you sooo happy. This can help you, especially if you’re feeling like you can’t do anything or like you’re not good at anything.
Love & Accept Every Inch of Yourself
It’s hard to embrace your insecurities. Just remember, they’re not flaws. Nothing about you is a flaw. I don’t care how ugly, weird, or annoying something is to you, it’s NOT a flaw! It’s okay to have insecurities. It’s okay to want to change something about yourself, but only if the change is positive and healthy for your body.
Loving and accepting yourself will not happen overnight. You’re going to have to condition yourself to do that. Don’t think negative things about yourself. I know it’s easy to think “oh, this part of me is so ugly”. Babe, you’re perfect. Idc idc idc. You were made that way for a reason. You’re perfect. Tell yourself that 🙂
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
This is similar to the first one, but it isn’t limited to trying new things. Getting out of your comfort zone is good, because you’re opening yourself up to opportunities and things you wouldn’t normally be open to. Some people won’t challenge themselves in school, the workplace, and just life in general because they’re comfortable with where they’re at.
It’s good to be comfortable, but it’s also good to challenge yourself. Having a challenge and excelling at it will make you feel so good about yourself! Let’s say you always do something a certain way and you know that it’s possible to do it an easier way, but you don’t because you’re comfortable. Practice doing things you don’t typically do, and if it doesn’t help, then maybee you can take a lil break.
Always be Thankful & Grateful for the Good Things
Honestly, no matter how bad life may seem, we have so many things to be grateful for. Food, shelter, clothes, shoes. Even if you don’t have a lot, your situation could be much much worse. So, please try not to complain as much.
Once you realize all the things you have that others don’t have, you might feel better about yourself (and feel bad for those who go without). I saw this thing that Scarlett Estevez posted. She made a 2021 jar where every week she writes down what the best thing was and puts it in the jar. I plan on doing this to have a somewhat positive view on the year. I hope you all do this too, babes!
Do Your Best in Everything You Do
Don’t half do things. Put your all into everything you do that way if it doesn’t go the way you planned, you’ll know you tried your hardest. If you don’t try your hardest, you won’t progress in life. Life is all about progressing and bettering yourself. Why stunt that growth?
Doing the best you can will make you feel even better than if you didn’t give your all. It makes you feel kind of complete. Doing good with only half effort feels nice, but if something is kinda hard and you still do good? AMAZING!
In case you don’t know what affirmations are, they’re really simple, short and powerful expressions. They’re used to empower yourself and help you think better about your insecurities and things like that.
You can look up different affirmations and repeat a few of them to yourself daily. I think I’ll start putting affirmations at the end or beginning of my posts. Comment down below if you want them at the end or beginning and I’ll get right to it!
Stop Thinking More Likes = Beauty
I know we all want a lotta likes and a lotta followers. You don’t need likes or follows to be pretty. Please know that there is a difference between actually pretty and popular pretty. Some of y’all girls and boys don’t be actually good looking. People hype y’all up and y’all think you look good.
A lot of the prettiest and handsomest people aren’t even famous. It’s just how life is. Having a lot of likes doesn’t mean you’re pretty. Having a little bit of likes doesn’t mean you’re ugly. Having nice pictures and videos that you’re proud of and that you like means you’re comfortable with yourself, so you don’t care what people think.
As long as you think highly of yourself… As long as you know how good you look… Why worry what others think about you? Forget them, babe.
Keep a Journal
Journals aren’t for everybody. Some people (like me) can’t really keep up with it. I’ve tried journals and diaries, but I never keep up with it. I’ll write in it for a few days.
However, if you’re good at journals, you should do this. It may help you to let go of all the negative things in life. And it’s good to have things down in writing (or typing if you have an online diary or diary app). It’ll be kinda nice to look back and read it later in life to see what younger you was doing.
Focus on Yourself
I know a lot of people make jokes about this. Like, “if he got a phone just focus on yourself sis”. But honestly— and I’m so serious— focus on yourself. If you’re in a bad mental state, you may not be ready for a relationship. Especially if the cause of the bad mental state is a breakup or a relationship you’re already in.
It’s okay to focus on yourself while in a relationship, but the results won’t be the same as they would if you were single. For example, when you’re single, you do what you want. You’re not obligated to text or call anyone back (except maybe your parents lol.) Other than that, you do as you please and you don’t have to worry about an SO getting mad or having an opinion about the decisions you’re making.
In case you don’t know how to focus on yourself, you just take a break from everything that has nothing to do with you. Live your life the way you wanna live it (however, if you’re under 18, you may not be able to live the exacttt way you wanna live.) Just make sure you’re keeping up with yourself. Not slacking off, working on areas you feel you need to work on, keeping up with grades and assignments… Things like that.
Don’t be in drama. You’re taking a break from everything, even social media. Social media poisons our brains sometimes with the things we see. As entertaining as it is, you have to take breaks. Seeing people that supposedly have way more than you do can cause you to resent your situation. We don’t want that. We’re trying to feel better about ourselves, babe, not tear us back down.
Don’t Settle For Less
To get your mental back to being the way it should, you have to know your worth. It’s a must! If you don’t know your worth, you’ll end up letting people walk over you and treat you less than you are. We don’t like that.
You need to have goals that you want to achieve and you need to be actively trying to accomplish your goals. Do not let people tell you what you can and can’t achieve. Do not let them belittle the things you’re working hard for.
Settling for less is admitting defeat to whatever you’re settling for/to. Whether it’s in relationships (SO, friends, family, co workers/boss) or whether the problem is within yourself. You have to keep pushing and keep going even when you’re not really feeling motivated to do it.
Put Your Life & Needs Before These Boys/Girls
I know we have a habit of putting our all and everything into someone we’re attracted to. Don’t do that. It’s fine to like someone. It’s fine to want to be with them and show them you’re interested. But make sure you’re showing yourself more love and attention than you give them.
You can’t uplift and help someone else become better while pouring yourself empty. It’s okay to be in a relationship, but take a few hours a day to yourself. If the person you’re with doesn’t understand or accept you wanting to have time to yourself to make sure you’re doing okay and that you’re not running yourself dry, leave them. Cuz we don’t want them anyway, babes. People like that don’t actually like you. They’re with you to reap whatever benefits you can bring them, and once they get what they want, they’re gone.
Be Open to Change
Change is hard to accept, I know. It comes in many forms and if you don’t like change, you probably fight each form of change out there. Your life may change a little and you might need to fix your schedule. A new person may come in your life, a person may leave your life. However the change comes, you have to be able to adapt quickly.
You don’t have to like the change, but you do need to be able to change with it. Don’t be so set in the way that you do things to where you can’t change anything or you’ll feel like you’re gonna die. It’s gonna be okay 🙂
Always Get Enough Sleep
We don’t get enough sleep. I know it, you know it, we all know it. Now, we just need to do something about it. Teenagers need 8-9 hours of sleep to properly function throughout the day. For me, I’m always sleepy no matter how little or how much sleep I get. However, if I get more sleep, I’m less likely to take a random nap during the day.
When there’s no school (breaks or weekends), I typically stay up till 2 or 3, maybe 4… Sometimes 5 if I’m watching a long movie. I’ll wake up between 12-2. So, I get pretty much the right amount of sleep. When there is school, I try to be sleep by 1. I get up at 7 to prepare myself for class, go to class, fall asleep during class, and then be fully awake by 12. Either way, I get enough sleep.
I care about your health. Pls make sure you’re getting enough sleep too, babe.
Don’t Bottle Your Feelings… EVER
Do not do this at all. Ever. In your life. Never do it. Idc. You don’t have to physically talk to someone about what you’re feeling, but if you keep it inside of you without doing something, you’ll go crazy.
You can write it down (*cough cough* journal), talk to someone, or talk to yourself. If something is really bothering me, but I feel like nobody will care, I talk to myself about it. Tbh, I talk to myself about everythingg that happens in my life. The realest friend you have is yourself, lol ik that’s corny.
I know we might not like sharing our feelings, but you can always (or at least should always) trust yourself to be able to talk to yourself. Sometimes, I give myself advice. I know that might seem weird, but it actually helps. If you ever need/want someone else’s advice, you can ask me!
Smiling more can put you in a positive mood. A positive mood can help guide you to a positive mindset. Don’t force a smile, though. I’ve done it enough to know that when the smile isn’t genuine, it doesn’t bring positivity.
Whenever I forced myself to smile, it made me feel worse. I started overthinking like dang, I can’t even be happy. I quickly got over this by doing things that made me feel good about myself and help me relax.
You smile when you laugh. When you laugh, there’s a slight small before and after. Laughing and smiling are positive things and will make you feel a little better. Plus, your smile is nice 🙂 Let people see it more.
Surround Yourself W/ Good People
The people you associate with are a reflection of you. Not because of what they do, but because of how much they rub off on you. If you hang around people that take a lot of risks, sooner or later, you’ll start taking risks.
Be around people who’s morals and values you agree with and can respect. Don’t hang out with people that make you question their trust or loyalty. Be around people that you can be comfortable with and people that make you happy. Watch out for fake friends who are secretly trying to tear you down.
Have Short Term & Long Term Goals
We’ve talked about goals previously, but knowing how to manage and set realistic goals is very important. Do not set a goal that you’ll have a 4.0 GPA by the end of the year when it’s February and your GPA is 2.9. That is not realistic and it’s going to have you running around, stressed. Stress causes negativity in life and we don’t like that.
Know what point you’re trying to get to and set goals accordingly. Let’s say your overall (long term) goal is to get a letter of recommendation to a college and you’re a freshman. The steps to get there (short term goals) are what you need to focus on. Turning work in early if you can, asking questions, making sure you’re staying on top of grades and assignments, having a good attitude towards students and staff. Those are some things that will get you where you want to be.
If you struggle with something, for example asking questions, relax. I know we hate asking questions in class, because it’s mad awkward. Just remember what you’re trying to achieve… Also, someone else has that exact same question but were too scared to ask. Take one for the team and show everyone that you’re focused on actually learning and retaining information. You don’t care what they think.
Do What You Love
There a lot of people out there who are being forced to do something, because their parents did it. Like, continuing a family business or going into a field of work that their parent did. I understand the benefits of this, I promise I do… But, it couldn’t be me. I just can’t do something (work related) and not love what I’m doing. You do not want to hate your job.
However, this applies to more than just an occupation. This goes for anything. Don’t do it if you don’t love it. No matter what it may be, if you don’t genuinely like what you’re doing, it’s going to take a terrible toll on your mental.
Sometimes what you love is stressful. I love baking, but it’s a lot of work to make it perfect and then a lot of dishes after. Just find out what you love and start making it happen!
Say No When You Want To
This one is self explanatory, but we all know how hard it can be to say no. Especially due to the wonderful world of peer pressure. Just remember that whenever you say yes even though you wanna say no, you’re giving up. Letting them win. Letting them walk over you. We don’t do that here.
Sometimes compromising and saying yes can be good. But please say no in dangerous situations. I care about your safety, and I don’t want anything to happen to you 😉
Get to Know Yourself
Spend time alone. If you’re always around people, you won’t know who you really are. You have to figure out who you are without other people’s influence. Getting to know yourself is amazing, because honestly… You’ll learn things you didn’t know before.
I used to always be around my siblings or my friends and then when I started being alone, I realized I like being alone. It’s quiet and nice. I also didn’t know I liked talking to myself until I spent time alone.
Read Good Books
I’ll be honest… I don’t read as much as I used to. I stopped reading a lot about 2 years ago. I’d read a book only if it was class assigned, and that was the case with last year and this year as well. The last book I read was Of Beetles and Angels by Selamawi Asgedom. It was really good and I liked it more than I thought I would. I honestly thought it was going to be boring and I would hate it.
Reading good books will boost your vocabulary and hopefully your comprehension. Having a good vocabulary will make you feel superr smart, and feeling smart helps the way you think of yourself.
Always be Yourself
Cliche, I know. It’s kinda hard to be yourself, especially around others. We want to be liked. Not everyone will like you and you don’t want people to like you for someone you’re not. No matter what you think someone won’t like about you… They will.
Be yourself. Someone will want to be your friend. Someone will want to date you. I promise, pretending to be something you’re not is going to wear you out. You’re going to start hating yourself which isn’t good, especially if you’re already in a bad state.
Don’t be Afraid to Speak Your Mind
Whatever you’re going to say, say it. It may make someone mad or sad, but it is what it is. At the end of the day, it’s night. At the end of the night, it’s day. It’s already 2021, we don’t have time for sugar coating or keeping quiet. Let people know when they’re in the wrong. They’ll appreciate you later. They’ll also respect you more for always being honest even when it was hard.
You might regret what you said a little after you said it, if the person responds negatively. You don’t have to be rude, just be truthful. After speaking your mind, you’ll feel good that you didn’t keep it to yourself. You might feel bad at first, but you won’t feel bad for long.
Positivity is Key
I’ve already mentioned positivity in this post and guess what? I’ll do it again! BE POSITIVE! THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS! HAVE POSITIVE FEELINGS! I know we all get negative sometimes, but don’t let your life be more negative than it is positive.
We need positivity around 70-80% of the time and we can let some negativity slip through every once in a while. Remember what I said about affirmations, because that will help a lott more than you trying to force yourself to be positive without help.
If Someone is Trying to Change You, Let Them Go
Let toxic people go in general. Don’t let anyone change you, unless the change is positive and good for you. You’ll know what’s good for you and what’s not. Trust your instinct. Gut feelings are typically never wrong. Toxic people are not good for you and they’ll never be good for you.
You must be okay with letting people go even if it’s hard, and it’s going to be hard. No matter who you have to let go, you’ll be okay. You’ll thug it out, cuz you’re THAT girl/boy.
Compliment Yourself Everyday
Along with the daily affirmations, you should do daily compliments. I would compliment myself first then do the affirmation. You can also give yourself compliments multiple times throughout the day. Maybe every time you’re in a bathroom. Since there will be a mirror in there, you can compliment yourself every time you are in the bathroom. I’m thinking that would be around 6-10 times.
Take some time away from everything and just chill. Kind of like the “focus on yourself” except you don’t have to focus on anything. If you’re focusing on something, you’re not relaxing. Watch a movie, eat some snacks, listen to music, read a book. Whatever relaxes you… Just have fun!
That’s all I have for this post! I’ll be doing a Feeling Drained post next, and plentyyy more!
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