It’s okay to be sad about it, but you gotta move on. You’re not gonna die just because they don’t wanna be witchu.Taylor, author of Tay’s Gen Z Diary
If you’re here, you’re probably from my Being Nontoxic or Shooting Your Shot post. If you’re not, you’re here because you’ve gotten rejected and want some help. Either way, you’re here. You’ve found me, so congratulations. And, yeah, imma give you the tea.
Step 1: Post Rejection
This is right after they said no or friendzoned you or whatever happened. Typically, what you would try to do is find out why they said no. They’ll most likely give you a lame excuse like “I’m not looking for a relationship right now” (which could be true, but usually isn’t).
If they’re honest and straightforward, they’ll tell you like it is. “You’re not my type” or something like that. But those lame excuses are… Well, lame. Even if you don’t know why they rejected you, it’s okay. The first thing you can do is get over it.
Not like just BOOM get over it, but gradually. Depending on how much you like them will show you how much recovery time you need. I’m guessing they were just your crush and you were shooting your shot. (You can go look at my Shooting Your Shot post for future reference, babes.)
You need to understand that everything happens for a reason. It didn’t work out. It’s not the end of the world. Get up and go on with your life, babes 🙂 Yes, I just quoted Madea.
Step 2: Getting Over It
This step will be easy or hard depending on how much you liked that person. The first thing to do is to focus on yourself. Don’t try to go shoot your shot with somebody else right away (unless it’s almost Valentine’s Day or a school dance is coming up or something where you really need a date.)
If you’re going to ask someone else to be yours soon, I advise you to wait at least a week. Ask someone out, if you get rejected, wait a week, then ask somebody else. So, don’t wait until the last minute if you have an event coming up. You can wait only a few days if you want.
If you don’t have any other choices, then we can work on not letting the rejection get to you. You don’t need to be like, “Whatever, I didn’t want yo piccolo built self anyway.” That’s not cute. Just be like, “Oh, okay. I understand.” Even if you don’t understand, just say that you do.
Once you say that you understand, you leave them alone. If y’all are friends and have decided to continue to be friends and not let anything be awkward, just don’t text them back as much. Doing that will let the feelings fester and marinate and we don’t want that.
Just take some time for yourself. Make sure you’re keeping up with any routines you have. I know when we like someone, we have habits of planning our day or schedule around our crush’s schedule. Now is the time to get your own schedule down.
I have a written schedule for each day of the week. It helps me be a little more organized and productive during my day. Even when I don’t follow my schedule exactly, I still get some stuff done.
Once you have a schedule and take a few weeks to get back on track, we can commence Step 3.
Step 3: Bossing Up
You can use this step to make them jealous, but that’s not necessarily what it’s for. This is mainly for you to become a better you and realize that they missed out on you.
First, you need to get yourself together. As in, make sure you’re always looking on point. Even if you’re having a “bummy” day, you can still be cute. Your hair don’t have to be done in lemonade braids to be cute. Your outfit don’t gotta be fancy and have diamond pearls and Chanel bags to be cute. Just make sure your hair looks like some typa something, your outfit is NOT WRINKLED and it matches, and your face is washed and looks like you’re glowing. Boom. That’s really all you gotta do.
Now, if you wanna post on social media. Yeah, sure, the “bummy” look is cute. But spice it up. Give your audience a lil sum sum. Sprinkle that lil razzle dazzle. A cute accessory will spice it up a notch if you not tryna do too much.
Speaking of social media, you don’t have to unfollow them or unadd them or whateva if you don’t want to. You don’t have to block them. But don’t be lurking on their page, checking their bio every 5 seconds, checking their followers/following, and looking at their story every 5 seconds. Give them some space. Worry about you, not them.
If y’all are friends, you can look at their story. But that other stuff? DO NOT DO IT! You’re hindering your growth and improvement, babes. Once you look the look and look like you’re bossing up, you can take pictures or whateva and post it (if y’all don’t really see each other in person). Either way, you want them to notice you looking good if you’re trying to make them jealous.
You need the look, the act, the walk, and the bag! All of this is important. You can look like you’ve bossed up, walk like you’ve bossed up, but if you’re not acting like you’ve bossed, then did you really? Acting bossed up is not the same as acting boujee. Acting bossed up is different for everybody, but it can simply be knowing your worth. After you’ve got the look, the act, and the walk, you need to get the bag.
There are many ways to be in your bag. Get a job for one, do small little gigs like tutoring or something like that, and other things too. (I’ll do a blog about that at some point.) Once you’ve got all that down and packed or getting it down and packed, you’re done pretty much. They’re probably jealous already. If they aren’t jealous, then oh well. You still accomplished a lot and you should be proud of your progress. Send this to anyone who got rejected, so you can help them and they can boss up, too.)
That’s all I have for this subject. I’ll be doing a dear black girls post next, and plentyyy more!
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I love you, babes 🙂