You gotta keep them guessing and wanting. As soon as they feel like you’re too easy to get, they’re either gonna play you or leave you.Taylor, author of Tay’s Gen Z Diary
If you’re here, you’re probably from my Relationship Tingz or Catching Feelings post. If you’re not, you’re here because you need help. Either way, you’re here. You’ve found me, so congratulations. So, yeah, Imma get into it and give you the tea.
Step 1: Getting Their Attention
You can’t shoot your shot, or have any relationship with them, if they don’t know you exist. So, to make your presence known, you need to be active. If they got YouTube, Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, and anything else, BE ACTIVE. If they post, like it and comment. Yeen gotta be flirty flirty in the comments just yet. (we save the razzle dazzle for later) Just comment, “Yo, dis fye” and move along. Watch their story! Don’t turn the story notifications on and be on they stuff when it still say “5secs”.
If you’re doing it in person, (i doubt it cuz of corona but yktv), get a little close. I don’t mean all up on them or nothing. Literally, just be around them. Like, even if y’all ain’t friends, just casually stand by them and do something on your phone. You can be changing ya settings, it don’t matter. Just do something, and make sure your outfit and hair and everything is on point and poppin. That way, they’ll be looking at you and even if they don’t say anything, that’s okay. We need their brains to be like, “Dang, they bhadd.” or “Dang, they look like they just so put together.” You coulda cried yaself to sleep that night, but they don’t gotta know that. If they think you poppin, let them think you poppin. Cuz you are poppin. And even if you don’t think you’re poppin… Fake it till you make it, babes.
Step 2: Becoming Friends
I don’t care what anybody says. A relationship can not and will not work if you’re not friends. You can like somebody all you want, but you tell your friends everything. You’re more comfortable with your friends. I’ve seen it enough and done it enough to tell you that relationships where you don’t establish a friendship first, don’t last as long as they could. So, now they know you exist, but if you don’t do something fast, they’ll forget about you.
If you’re doing it over social media, you can just DM them. Some advice I have for you, this can pretty much be used on any platform, send them a funny video or meme. Then, if you want to say “oops, wrong person”, you cannn, but I don’t think you should. People like funny videos and memes, so honestly, this could help you start a connection. If they think it’s funny, become online friends. The way this works, is mostly y’all just send memes and stuff to each other all the time. You can establish a friendship on Twitter by commenting funny or relatable messages under their tweets. Or, you can send them funny videos or other people’s story on Snap. The best way to become friends off social media, (in my opinion), is to DM them, send them a Snap, comment under their tweet, or whateva and be like, “new friends?”
In person, it’s a littleee harder, but not really. You can say you want or need new friends, or that you want friends that are around more. Or just ask if you can hang cuz you got nothing else to do. It’s honestly not as hard as people make it seem. The main thing with becoming friends though… BE FUNNY!!! I swear, people like other people that are funny and goofy. Don’t go around calling yourself goofy, because people that call theirself goofy aren’t actually goofy.
Step 3: Getting Close
So, you’re friends. But you don’t wanna stay just friends forever. At this point, you still don’t have their number and that’s a problem. (If you do have their number, that’s amazing. You’re making great progress.)
Find a reason to get their number. “Oh, I don’t be on social media like that anymore, what’s your number?” “I was gonna text you and ask if you wanted to hang, but then I realized I don’t have your number…” You see where I’m going with that? If you were the person that said, “new friends?”, then this step is easy for you. When you said new friends and they said sure, you shoulda been like, “okay what’s your number?” or “okay text me” and sent them your number.
You can still do that now. Just be like, “We’re friends. I have all my friends’ numbers, so what’s yours?” And boom. Very easy. (if you have an email, don’t be discouraged, it still works. if you have an andriod and they don’t, again don’t be discouraged, it can still work.) Once you have their number, you need to text them more often. Once a day at the very least. The more y’all talk, the closer you get.
Step 4: Transitioning Before Getting Friendzoned
If you get too close, you’ll get friendzoned. So, please. Pay attention. Once you notice that you’ve been getting closer and they like talking to you about sorta personal things. WE GOT EM, BABES! Now, you need to decide what flirty flirty you finna be. Are you going to be the shy flirty, in between flirty, or straightforward flirty?
Shy flirty example: I wish I had a bf/gf… I’m tryna be cuddled up and do stuff wit my boo… (by this time, you should know whether they have a SO or not)
In between flirty example: Find me a gf/bf… Unless you want it to be you, jk jk… But I mean…
Straightforward flirty example: Not gon capp, I want you to be mines.
You see the difference? So, you need to know which one you wanna be. The shy one who sprinkles a little razzle dazzle onnem? The in between that throwsss a little razzle dazzle onnem? The straightforward that slaps the razzle dazzle onnem? Once, you’ve decided, we can take action.
Step 4: Actually Shooting Your Shot
This is where you’re gonna start flirting a lottt more than before. Make them laugh, get on the phone, things like that. Make a few jokes about you two getting together *hint hint*. Don’t get tooo crazy with the flirting. Try to hang out with them, (unless you have strict parents like I do).
Text or call them like, “so whatchu got goin today? nothing? oh, same. we should go somewhere.” It don’t have to be to no super fancy place. Just you two being together. It’s okay to hang out in a group if you’re still too scared to be alone, but at some point, you need to do it. Y’all ain’t gotta be alone and be all up on each other (yk what I’m talkin bout). Just be alone and chilling. Still making jokes about the two of you being cute and things like that. And if anybodyyy ever says y’all would be cute, DO NOT SAY EW! Be like, “maybe…” and kinda look at em a lil bit.
If you take any cute pictures or videos (or silly pictures or videos) send it to them. (Don’t send alll of them obviously and not everyday.) At this point, they should like being around you and seeing you and yeah.
Step 5: Make Them Chase You
We’re almost there, babes. You’ve let them know that you’re interested. Now, fall back veryyy slightly. Take some time to text back, let them hit you up about hanging out and have them calling you. Don’t ignore their calls or take hours to text back, cuz then they’ll think you don’t want them. (You’ll be back to friendzone.) Just run away and let them chase you a little bit. Let them put in some effort.
After they’ve shown a significant amount of effort (whatever works for you), you can be like, “So what we got goin?” You can ask “what are we” if you want to, but it depends on what you want.
If you’re being shy, you can say, “Still waiting on a boo to spoil ;)” use the monkey covering his face and the eyes.
If you’re being in between, you can say, “what we got goin?” or “what are we?” use the winky face and the eyes.
If you’re being straightforward, you can say, “Are you mine or not?” or “so are we together?” or “you tryna be my lil baby?” use the eyes for the second one, use that emoji that is like the face is twisted (idk how to explain it, but i’m talking about the emoji you see above) for the first one, and use the lil smiley face with the 3 hearts around it if you’re gonna send the last one.
Step 6: Achievement or Rejection
So, either it worked or it didn’t. If it didn’t, that’s okay. We’ll use these exact steps on a different person. Don’t be thinking something is wrong with you, because there’s not. You just might not be that person’s preference. Like, they might think you cute and stuff. Maybe, you’re playful and short. They might like more serious people that are tall. It depends on the person.
If they said yes, then CONGRATULATIONS! WE DID IT, BABES! It worked.
That’s all I have for this subject. I’ll be doing a not being toxic post, a dealing with rejection post, and plentyyy more!
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I love you babes 🙂