Lemme start off by saying… Ew. Catching feelings is weird and makes you do stupid stuff just because you like someone *insert roblox oof here*. But no, seriously, catching feelings is fun (ig) and it provides some good opportunities. I’m not gonna boss you around and act like I know everything about everything… But I am gonna boss you around and act like I know everything about everything. So, just pay attention.
How You Start Catching Feelings
Okay, so obviously, you know when you start to like somebody. Common symptoms, (yes, we’re gonna act like it’s a disease), include thinking about them a lot, getting a lil jealous, possessive thoughts, texting back superrr fast, and getting lil “butterflies” or “jitters” when they text you (especially if they text back fast too).
So, basically, I’m just going to kind of explain how the process of “catching feelings” works. It usually happens when you’re single *ahem* and you’ve been taking a break from relationships, or you’ve been tAlKiNg to multiple people, orrr you have a friend and recently you’ve been noticing them a lil more *wink wink*. Either way, in all of those scenarios, catching feelings is one of the last things we want to do.
Catching feelings means having to enter the talking stage, get comfortable with them, let them in on your flaws/insecurities/secrets, be in a committed relationship, go through arguments, and possibly breakup. Like, nobodyyy wants to go through all of that with every new person that they have a crush on. You can catch feelings by being around them a lot, starting off as friends and talking to them 25/8, having grown up with them, finding them attractive in any way, them being “mean” or playfully mean to you… The brain is a complicated place. Sometimes, you can catch feelings for the most random person, and you’re sitting there trying to figure out why you like them. The conversation goes a littleee like this…
You: okay, but why do I like them?
Heart: idk, i’m just here. ask the brain.
Brain: me? don’t ask me. I’ve been half functioning the entire time.
So, youn know why you like them, but you do. And at this point, you go with what you get.
How to not Catch Feelings too Fast
This is like the major major MAJORRR thing! Honestly, this is probably what you’re here for. If you’re like me and catch feelings within 2 seconds of talking to someone, the struggle is real. If you can go long periods of time of talking to someone and barelyyy feeling any typa way, TEACH ME! Actually, I’m both. It depends on the guy for me, because like sometimes I catch feelings fast and sometimes I don’t.
What To Do
If you’ve caught feelings or if you feel yourself starting to catch feelings, I want you to press pause on that for a second. You need to think, REALLYYY THINKKK, about why you like them. You haveee to find something to base ya lil crush on, or it’s going to end badly, I promise you. Especially, if you’re dealing with a person who’s love language is Words of Affirmation (I’ll probably make a whole diary post about that later.) If your crush asks, “Why do you like me?” You need to have a good answer. If you say, “Idk, I just do.” “You’re different.” “You’re cute and funny.” WHATTT !?!? No, babes. There’s lots of cute and funny out there. You can’t say “you’re different” and leave it at that. No, telll them how they’re different. You can’t be scared to tell them what you’re feeling.
If they don’t know you like them, how do you expect them to approach you in that way? (unless they’re magically and hopelessly in love with you) You gotsss to tell them. Communication is key! Reread that sentence. Communication is key! People don’t like to tell their crush when they like them for fear of embarrassment and rejection. If they reject you, oh well. Their loss. If you feel embarrassed, just think about how 5 years from now, you’re not even going to care. 9 times out of 10, the embarrassment doesn’t even last more than 3-6 months. Don’t worry, babes, you’ll move on :).
After you’ve figured out why you like them, and told them, we can move towards Stage 2. Now, if they rejected you in Stage 1, leave it alone. Do not beg someone to be with you. That’s ugly and not cute and not okay and it makes you look… Not good. If they didn’t reject you, you need to slowly move from Friends to A lil more than friends. Don’t rush it, because you’re going to mess up. Let life take its course.
If you don’t know how to transition from friendzone to ooh la la zone, I got you. Step 1, be flirtatious. Not tooo much flirty flirty, and not too little. Throw a little ratatata on them. Flirt enough to where they know you like them, but they also know that if they start slacking they gon lose you. Babes, you gotta be hard to get & medium easy to lose. Like, not you’ll leave over a lil argument. But, as in, you know your worth. You won’t settle for less. AND YES, KNOWING YOUR WORTH AND NOT SETTLING FOR LESS IS A THING EVERYONE CAN DO! I mostly hear people telling girls to never settle for less, like um… The boys need to hear it, too. Y’all love to act like girls don’t be toxic or anything.
Speaking of toxic… No toxicity. If you’re toxic, show it a TINY TEENSY bit. Not too much cuz you gon scare them away. You save the toxicity for when you’re in a relationship. At that point, they’ve made it that far, so they can handle it. Obviously, being tooo toxic is bad, but toxic can be fun sometimes ;).
So, remember what I said. You figure out why you like them, tell them how you feel, be flirtatious, be slightlyyy toxic, and there you go. You let life take its course, like I said before. Don’t force it, because if it’s real, it’ll persevere through anything.
What NOT to do
I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Jealousy is rule number one. Get it under control. You have no reason to be jealous, why? Because you’re progressing. If you think there’s someone else, there probably is. You wanna know why? Y’all ain’t together! You’re in the “catching feelings stage”. Not the talking stage, not the relationship stage, not the engaged or married stage. Okay, so calm yourself down. Remember who you are. If they’re smart, they’ll choose you over anybody. And if they don’t choose you, youn want them anyway. Cuz they’re stupid. Periana.
Possessive thoughts. Okay, so I know we have tendencies to become very possessive when we like somebody. I just need you to remember that y’all ain’t together. Sis, he’s not your boyfriend. She’s not your girlfriend, so cool it. You don’t own them. You can’t control them. (I mean, you can try, but at the end of the day, do you really wanna be the controlling person? Even tho y’all not together? No, cuz they’re gonna end up leaving your life and you’re gonna miss them.) You can think about wanting to be with them, wanting them to be yours, but you do not. I repeat, DO NOT think you own them. Don’t go on social media looking at who they follow and who follows them and getting mad. Don’t go through their likes & comments and then get mad. Again, y’all ain’t together! You can get mad or be like “mm, what is this? who is that?” when you’re in a relationship. Until then, get over it.
Texting back superrr fast. It’s okay to text back fast if you’re having an engaging conversation and you’re both texting back fast. But don’t do it all the time. You’re constantly making yourself available for them and that’s not your boo. It’s okay to be busy. It’s okay to not explain why you didn’t text back for 5 minutes. Try not to take longer than 20 minutes to text back, though. 15 minutes is a pretty good distance. Like, you’re busy, but not too busy to the point where they’re annoyed. If you’re cleaning up, finish cleaning before texting them back. It’ll leave them wanting more. They’ll be thinking, “why they not texting back yet?” And when you do text back, you can say “I was busy” “I was doing sum”, but yeen got to. You’re not in a relationship, so you’re not obligated to text them back. That’s your cellular device, and you can do what you want. It’s like I said with the flirting. Texting back fast is the same way. Not too much and not too little. 15 minutes is telling them “okay I like you, but I have other things to do and you’re not gonna stop me from being productive because as of right now, you’re temporary”. Alwaysss remember that. They’re temporary until further notice. If they don’t wanna be temporary, they would tell you that. That’s not your “forever”. They’re 4RN not 4L.
Dry texting. Do not dry text. This don’t make nobody wanna be witchu. It makes them wanna delete your number, block you on everything, throw their phone, run away screaming, and buy a new one. Dry texting is not cute. Be creative. If you like them, show them by coming up with things to talk about. But it’s 50/50. You shouldn’t have to always text first, or come up with a conversation. They have a phone, they have fingers, and they have a brain. They can text first. If you feel like you’re always texting first or starting conversations, don’t talk to them for a while. See if they hit ya line, and if they don’t? NEXT CALLER! Cuz they don’t care enough. If you don’t have anything to talk about, just say that. If they’re talking about something and you’re going “mhm. wow. that’s crazy. wrdd. right. that’s cool. for real?” STOP IT! Tell them the story is boring. (Be nice about it duhhh.) But like, at the end of the day, even if it doesn’t work out, they’ll respect you more for always keeping it real and being straightforward. Nobody respects someone that just pretends to care.
Quadruple texting. Double texting and even triple texting isn’t thattt bad, depending on the situation. But unless you’re telling a lengthy story, texting 4 or more times without a reply is NOTTT okay! Calm down, wait for them to text you. They might be busy, orrr they might be tryna be hard to get. If they’re playing hard to get, well babes… You gotta be even harder to get. If you’re not busy, and they’re not texting back, make yourself busy. Clean up, organize something, watch a movie/show, eat, take a nap, do something. Even if you ain’t got any ideas on something to do, pretend to be busy. This is kind of like the texting back fast thing, except it has more to do with texting multiple times.
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I love you, babes 🙂